Currently:
Listening to- Paste Sampler CD vol. 41
Doing- dishes/cleaning house
I just realized while I was looking at Facebook that anytime I find someone/someone finds me from high school, I accept the friend invitation, but for the most part I never put forth any effort whatsoever to make any kind of contact with them, even if it's just through the computer. I think I try to distance myself from my past. Not necessarily on purpose though. It just happens. Sort of like an automatic reaction.
And the majority of the people this happens with are not really people that I have ever been really close to; sometimes I don't really know them at all. I think it's partially because I see that our lives have gone in two completely different directions-as is usually the case-and I feel that there is no possibility of real connection or common ground, other than rehashing past memories.
I also think it may be because I have this thing about being fake...just surface living, where nothing real is ever exposed. I don't want to pretend with people that I'm interested in their lives, when really the only reason I'm saying anything is so I don't feel bad about ignoring them. And with most people I feel like I have to either be all in, involved in their lives, or nothing. Granted, I realize this pet peeve makes a hypocrite out of me, because I do the same thing all the time, but it's so much easier to notice in these types of situations. So I avoid it.
I have nothing to hold against these people. It is mainly driven by my need to stay comfortable in my own little world that I've acquired over the past five years I've been out of school. What could be worse than my world shifting a bit, and me learning something new, or being involved in someone's life? I know I can't think of anything...
Numbers 9:15-23
6 days ago
6 comments:
I was digging through the hundreds of pounds of junk we had shipped to us during our move. Among the rubble was an old newspaper kept from WP. On the cover... your face. It freaked me out a little... I must be honest. How that newspaper made it through the selection process of what to keep and over 1000 miles of water I will never know. God wanted me to see your face one more time.
It's a difficult thing for a lot of people. But definitely something to strive for...that is, if Jesus taught us anything. One day at a time.
man, i was really in the same boat as you a while ago. Then i decided to simply ignore the online people I wouldn't stay in contact with. well, if they contacted me with something, I would talk with them...but I would just click "ignore friend request" otherwise. There's one chick who hasn't said a single word to me, but has requested my friendship on Facebook I think....3 or 4 times. But everytime I see her baby as her profile picture, I shudder and click "ignore request".
I'm not saying my way is better than yours. It's quite a bit colder. But I don't feel guilty pretending to be interested when I'm really not. Plus, half the people that want to friend on Facebook 1.) only want me to add to their friend count and 2.) I can't remember who they are until I dig through their pictures until one finally reminds me of who I'm dealing with.
So are you/did you see Avett Bro. w/Ha Ha Tonka yet? you've gotta let me know how that is!
Take care my friend.
yeah, i can't get it to work right. ah well.
i'll e-mail it in all it's animatory glory. that's right. i made it up.
again, it's not much...
miss ya man!
hey dawg!
just wanted to drop you a line and say that i miss hanging out with ya.
I hope you're well and that the job is treating you well. I also hope you come to a great and very peaceful decision about your lease coming up in March (it is March, right?). You're in a great place to make some awesome, adventurous decisions about your life. Not like you didn't know that or anything...but i'm just sayin'...
Of course, you could move to CO and we could form a band. "Mike Doesn't Know, live, here in Colorado! Cd's for sale out front!"
Just think about it, alright?
take care man!
Cary
PS. i'm glad you enjoyed the nostaltic post. I miss hazelnut coffee quite a bit. Man, I would go out in public and people (who weren't too shy to smell my clothes) would say I smelled like hazelnut. It was usually dorm guys, but still....craxy!
I never noticed that Cary smelled like hazelnut coffee. I always thought it was sort of an old leather chair meets pickled eggs.
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